Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Amnesty Programs

Judging from the lack of recent media coverage the handgun/firearm amnesty programs must have achieved great success since I haven't seen any mention of these programs for at least one year. Perhaps it was the fact that I was driving alone (thus in deep thought............) in my gas-guzzling SUV today to our state capitol when it hit me -- "perhaps the green/mother earth warriors will start an 'SUV amnesty' program to save us from global warming!!"

Now I hesitate to give the Al Gore storm troopers this well-developed plan to guilt people into giving up their freedom of choice but here it goes anyway.

Step One -- some agreed upon sponsoring organization such as the Minnesota Pollution Control Agency ("MPCA" -- I drove by their building today thus my inspiration for suggesting them in this role!) would announce an "SUV Amnesty/Exchange Program" .

Step Two -- This would be a "no questions asked" program whereby guilt-ridden SUV owners would turn in their SUV's to the MPCA in exchange for a cool pair of basketball shoes or a skate board (think "kids with handguns" here folks!).

Step Three -- The SUV's would be "recycled" into scrap metal or perhaps sunk off the American ocean coasts to help create artificial reefs.

Step Four -- the internal combustion engines of course would be dis-mantled and melted down (again think "handguns" folks) so we can stop the senseless killing caused by SUV's.

So do you think I am crazy to believe such a scenario could happen one day? Personally I think it is just a matter of time before such a program will exist given today's political climate. However, I am confident that my V-8 Dodge Durango is better for the environment versus the Toyota Prius hybrid but how is this possible readers may ask? The answer is simple based on "green logic" -- if petroleum products are so bad for the environment then we should rid our planet of them as soon as possible correct? So let me call on everyone who loves the environment to purchase an SUV, perhaps even an RV, or the original HUMMER if you can afford such items so we can collectively use up all of the world's oil as fast as we can because such a course of action would move us to alternative energy options faster than any government program that exists today or is being debated as I type this posting.

Use more oil,


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