Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Bombing North Korea

Admittedly I am still a Cold War Warrior having done my small part to help destroy the Evil Empire, formerly known as the Soviet Union. While touring there in 1986 I distributed contraband materials I carried in my luggage -- magazines, newspapers, paperback books, audiotapes, etc. -- to help generate a "war of ideas" via the Soviet dissidents and black market traders (they wanted to trade for boxer shorts which inspired me to predict that their economy would collapse when I returned to Iowa State University and it did in 1991!!!) I met during my travels.

Today I had a rude reminder that communist dictators are alive and un-well given today's newspaper headline --- "North Korea Missile Launch Defies U.S." -- which highlighted North Korea's failed launch of a missile that fell into the Sea of Japan. Apparently President Kim Jong Il is upset with the quality of the sushi he imports from Japan while he lets his people starve by eating tree bark!! :-)

One quote I did not see reported is former US Vice President Walter Mondale's comments about two weeks ago calling for a pre-emptive US attack of North Korea. Interesting at the time since I don't remember Ambassador Mondale calling for similar action on Iraq:

Given my growing dis-trust of most governments I have evolved into what I call an "armed dove" -- meaning I prefer peace but will hit hard as a hawk when needed whether defending my home and family or acting as Commander-in-Chief should Americans draft me in 2008 since I am over 35 years old :-) Today, I do not see any need for a US-backed coalition to invade North Korea or even a massive bombing campaign but I do want to advocate the following solution.

Let's bomb North Korea with items from the free world like I did the Soviet Union in 1986 but on a massive scale via air force deliveries and on the ground covert operations by bringing humanitarian relief and cultural tools from the free world to the people of North Korea to enable them to stage a "coup de masses" against that jump suit wearing, sushi eating, bad hair day, mad man known as President Kim Jong (very) Ill using the following tools:

Step #1 -- BODIES: Use the US Air Force and allies to drop food supplies in rural villages. I am not talking bags of rice in UN-labeled bags -- I am talking; trail mix/gorp, jerky, hot dogs, lunch meat, bread, cookies, potato chips, bottled water, etc. Get these people fed and healthy for the revolution to come.

Step #2 -- MINDS: The next airlift by the air force planes would include examples of Western/free world culture including; the Victoria's Secret catalog, People magazine, mail order catalogs, USA Today, Asian language books and magazines, Men's Health (my favorite), and translated reports (in Korean of course) explaining President Kim's lavish lifestyle. The airlift would be coupled with supplying local insurgents with hand crank-powered radios and portable DVD players with extra batteries - since electricity is not a local resource - and a collection of DVDs such as "CNN Presents - North Korea" to show the North Korean slaves what the outside world is like so they are inspired to publicly oppose President Kim's regime.

Step #3 -- ARMS: I don't know of any successful revolution that did not include the use of firearms. In this step we would use the entire US and allies' intelligence entities to distribute weapons to villagers not to select individuals who could simply resale the weapons on the black market or in a neighboring country. Empower the people to lead their own revolution -- I trust factions of the army will join their fellow countrymen to oppose President Kim.

Step #4 -- DEADLINE: Give President Kim a firm deadline to dismantle his missile program then if he does not comply simply destroy all key infrastructure via a massive air strike coupled with a one week long propaganda campaign prior to the air strike consisting of dropping leaflets to citizens across the country and beaming radio and TV signals from Voice of America to all markets.

With all of these factors working in concert a grassroots uprising OR even better an exodus by President Kim to a country granting him asylum should he opt not to commit suicide (keep hope alive!!) should be the end result followed by a Transition Council (South Korea, China, Japan, US, Russia, and Australia given their growing role as regional policeman such as in East Timor) to manage a post-Kim North Korea leading to a national referendum regarding the unification of North and South Korea.

Nuclear war avoided, the minimum loss of human life, and the removal of President Kim -- not a bad outcome for the world.

Sleep well President Kim,


1 comment:

Dr. Dean said...

Sorry Todd, war is a bad outcome for the world.