Monday, October 17, 2005

The Olympics of Starvation




While the health fascists of the US of A pursue mandates on school lunch programs to combat the latest "crisis" in America -- OBESITY -- another country faces a real crisis since 40 percent of its children suffer from stunted growth (due to malnutrition), according to the United Nations. Yes, this is the same U.N. which managed the corrupt and completely ineffective "Oil for Food Program" which would have been an ideal program to help feed this country. Undoubtedly the country I am referring to here is the Republic of Iraq you might guess since President George Bush removed the benevolent dictator, Saddam Hussein, from power but you would be wrong!!!
The actual President that has stunted the growth of 40 percent of his own country's children is that sushi loving, jump suit wearing, lady killer {yes - double meaning here, you are getting my writing style now!! :) } General Kim Jong Il (KJI) of North Korea. Well, can you blame him? They need all the rice they have (mixed with bark sometimes) to feed the 100,000 schoolchildren and military cadets "recruited" to perform in the annual "Mass Games" consisting of numerous gymnastics events performed six (6) days a week -- I am guessing that on the 7th day they have "free time" to harvest rice to help avoid starvation -- to thank KJI for his leadership and to help this self-sufficient, workers paradise attract tourism dollars.

Amazing isn't it!! Why not restore a southern plantation in Birmingham, Alabama and "recruit" black schoolchildren to perform song and dance routines for tourists from New York City and Los Angeles? Clearly that would help reduce obesity in the nation's schools of course. The health fascists in the USA can be inspired by KJI's quote regarding the Mass Games in 1987:

"Mass gymnastics foster particularly healthy and strong physiques, a high degree of organization, discipline, and collectivism in schoolchildren. The schoolchildren, conscious that a single slip in their action may spoil their mass gymnastic performance, make every effort to subordinate all their thoughts and actions to the collective." (Source: International Herald Tribune, October 11, 2005)

Let me close with the inspiring words of Comrade Kang Man Gil, a North Korean official who is quoted saying, "If South Korea had the food problems we had, there would have been 1,000 riots, but there was none in our republic because our people have a strong sense of collectivism and pride."

Yes and North Korea is also spending its limited resources constructing nuclear missiles and satisfying KJI's numerous vices versus simply allowing its citizens to pursue their own personal needs (and food!!) via economic freedom. I would prefer to have a few fat kids in our nation's schools over the KJI nightmare any day.

Sorry I have to run now since the pizza delivery guy (another oppressed worker!!) is here!!

Todd

5 comments:

jdsqrd said...

Nice choice of photo, using a future Socialist, 7 of 9 of the Borg Collective.

BLT4ME said...

mmm...canadian bacon pizza is my favorite.

Anonymous said...

Canadian bacon? And pizza? Continue to watch yourselves - people that think that animals don't have souls or spirits are but fools in my eyes. Eat some bacon, and don't be surprised about what kind of animal spirits will haunt you. Canadians can't do ANYTHING right - frying Porky The Pig is just another glaring example.

Anonymous said...

Ummm, to the previous anonymous posting - Canadians bring a lot to the table and can do a lot of things right, contrary to popular - correction - Vegan American's who choose to impose their myopic beliefs on the rest of us. But for your information, Canadians have brought the following entertainers and technology to this world:
The Blackberry
The Canadian Space Arm
Jim Carrey
Nickleback
The Poutine (for french fry, gravy and cheese loving fans)
John Candy and many other SNL favorites
Pamela Anderson (who is also an ardent supporter of PETA to the Vegan freak who keeps posting)
And many more wonderful things - INCLUDING OUR BACON (which actually is called peameal bacon and is only called Canadian bacon in AMERICA!)

Zotz said...

people that think that animals don't have souls or spirits are but fools in my eyes. Eat some bacon, and don't be surprised about what kind of animal spirits will haunt you.

Reminds me of that scene in Galaxy Quest where Tech Sargent Chen says to a panicked Guy:

"Ever think that maybe your the plucky comic relief?"